Life and a Sixteen-Year-Old by Lemuel Irabor #LAASYO 17 Sept.

17-Sept.

Tuesday.

Getting used to this new school has been keeping me quite occupied.
Today,We received our school uniforms:for boys,a yellow long-sleeve shirt bearing the school badge,with a black tie on black trousers,plus a black blazer also emblazoned with the school badge.The girls get yellow blouses and black skirts instead.
Martha really looked chic in her uniform and I could already guess she had a busy day ahead of her.
First class today was Biology.We had a rat-faced teacher with spectacles like Dexter(in Dexter's lab).He looked like a combination of something from Ratoutoille and Oscar in Oscar's Oasis.
You get the picture.Once a boy tried to joke about the man's oversized pants.The teacher overheard and the hapless lad got sent out.
Talk about making an impression.
Next was Math.Teacher absent.A substitute teacher came but we pretty much did just revision and quick sums.No calculus yet.

At Lunch,I decided to go to the school cafeteria..and boy,did I regret it?
Please if you're reading this and you plan on attending Bedford High,NEVER GO TO THE CAFETERIA!!
Besides the massive number of kids crammed into such a small space,the air reeks of food gone bad and putrid sweat.
When I got to the front of the line,after bumping into kids front,back,left,right and centre,I saw a big woman with a lump on the left side of her face.She was dishing the food and I saw her sticky yellowish sweat drip from her face and brow into the flasks of food.I gulped hard and immediately turned to leave.
At the top of the stairs leading out of the cafeteria,I heard the woman shout.Apparently a student had poured away his food on the other students in the disorderly ramble of students.
In the ensuing imbroglio,I saw the woman add saliva to the food in the flasks.
Eek..I think I'll never look at rice the same again.
After lunch(I went to the tuck shop and bought some snacks and a Coke),I had Chemistry for two periods and I had to fight to keep awake.Our teacher was an owlish man whose explanation on Organic Chemistry was as boring as ever.Kid Snoozle(I don't even know his name..yet.The rabbit graffitti was still visible) dozed some and was asked to stand up throughout.
Class erupted in titter when the dude FELL asleep while standing..He lost his balance and while trying to regain it,grabbed the hair of the girl who sat before him.She screamed.
Mr Lanre(the Chemistry teacher) tried to restore normalcy to no avail.Everyone was bored of seeing enough Cs and Hs to make you hate the letters.

After school,Joe invited me over.I had to take my siblings home first,eat(Yeap..I was starved,who can survive on Coke and Rolls and Martha makes very good Yam porridge),do homework,chores;study a little,help Martha and Marvel with their Homework before heading over.
Joe's house was like..real big.His dad must be into politics,oil or fraud.
Just saying..
He gave me a tour of the house and boy oh boy..they were in money.
We played chess,table soccer and exchanged book recommendations.
Turns out Joe's a book lover too.
Dude prefers to read biographies and historical fiction.He told me he wanted to be an Archeologist or Historian.
''Nice Bro.,Nice..",I said,smiling.
Big chance of him getting a job in such a career in Nigeria..
Joe also loves puns.Every time he speaks,he uses at least a pun.
''Heh,Martin..you're so sallow,your chances of getting seen in the dark are really FAIR.''
And he laughs like he's one oaf of a comedian.
He's still cool though.

As I got off the rickety 'Danfo' bus(a Volkswagen van-turned-bus by Nigerians,owned by private er..individuals not government)at my bus-stop,I just had this gut feeling that something was wrong. I looked at my wristwatch.
20:42.
Great!Mom's gonna kill me. My curfew is 20:30.
Turns out I didn't get killed or I wouldn't be writing this.
Mom was standing,leaning on the kitchen counter and crying into a handkerchief.
'Mother,What's wrong?',I asked,suddenly solicitous.
'Oh Martin,you're back..',she sniffed and wiped her eyes.'Martha told me a friend invited you over.How was it?
I ignored the attempt to dismiss me.
'What's wrong?'
Mom saw the determined look on my face and sighed.'One day,I'll tell you..Just not now.No,not now'
She walked over and caressed my face.
OK,I think I'm my mom's favourite child because I give her less stress..than the others(Even at childbirth,Mom told me).
But right now,it'd take more than caressing my face to dismiss me..
'Mom,but..'
She placed a finger on my lips and mouthed 'Not now'.
I sighed resignedly.
'Dinner's ready.I mad-'
'I'm not hungry.',I said simply,climbing up the stairs..I turned ran to Mom and hugged her.
'Goodnight Mom.'
She kissed my hair.
And I ran up,quietly as a cat for I could hear Marvel snoring.It sounded like a wounded hippo.
Dad was offshore.He was..er,is a Naval Engineer.
So I took a quick shower,changed and jumped into my bed and went to sleep.

Or tried to.
Fitful sleep.
I know because I woke up to write this:

Ciao!



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